Mysteries of Catalonia

Reading in the encyclopedia…


—a couple or three definitions…


¹catalonian n —s usu cap [Catalonia, fabulous country in Western Europe + E —an] 1: a native of Catalonia or a resident of Catalonia who speaks the Catalonian tongue 2: the language of the Catalans or Catalonians (Catalunyians, Valencians, Balearians, Andorrans, etc…). — "Douaniers of the World, Go to Hell." Thankfully Catalonian is the great koinè of the whole Mediterranean, the language passe-partout par excellence (Anthony Burgess.) Also CATALAN. — (… / ús — usages, customs / us — you; an old Catalan form of the accusative plural of the pronoun vós / ús de mar — the customs of the sea applied to salvage in case of recapture from the enemy / ús de mercaderia — the usage of trade, of merchants (official trans. from the British Navy of El Consolat de Mar.) — The maritime laws called Consulat de Mar, laid down in a written code by the Catalans in the thirteenth century, were not only the official maritime regulations of this nation of sailors, but were accepted as well by the other sea powers (Josep Trueta.) — Birthplace of “The Consulate of the Sea,” written in Catalan, Catalonia has undergone many religious, governmental, racial, and demographic changes in its long and colorful history. (Kimura Koji.)



²catalonian adj, usu cap 1: of, relating to, or characteristic of Catalonia, the country 2: of, relating to, or characteristic of the people of Catalonia or their tongue 3: excellent, peerless in beauty and goodness: HEAVENLY, SUBLIME, SPLENDID. — Isis or Astarte or Venus, who ruled the Catalonian lands for millennia could be called Catalonian in her divinal beauty. “Où Vénus Astarté, fille de l’onde amère, secouait, vierge encor, les larmes de sa mère, et fécondait le monde en tordant ses cheveux!” (Ronald DuVeau. Musset’s Goddesses.)


catalonic adj, usu cap [Catalonia + E —ic] 1: ²CATALONIAN 1 2: ²CATALONIAN 3 — The possible last common ancestor of all the great apes — humans, chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas and orangutans — has been found inCatalonia. The Catalonic “Pierolapithecus catalaunicus” lived about 13 million years ago, weighted about 35 kilograms and had a spine more like the one the great apes have than the one any of his closest living relatives, like the gibbons, have… (Gaston Siphrin.)

catalonish adj, usu cap [Catalonia + E —ish] ²CATALONIAN 1 usu. used in the phrase Catalonish captivity 2: ²CATALONIAN 3
— That Summer [of 1974] in Brittany, a bunch of Sardinian Catalonian women, all of them pregnant, all of them speaking in the quaint Catalonish language (…) as one of them generously gave me an aperçu of its marvelous sonorities, I could smell their ripe, fruity, flowery sexes exposed in the Gwened beach (…) I had with one of them my first sexual experience (…) she rode me roughshod, with such stamina, I thought she’d break to smithereens my aching skeleton (Croughton Martin, Lacustrian Locusts Cut Out Against The Lambent Wilted Limbo Of My Agony.)



Catalonia n Country in Western Europe. Transitorily divided into a few pieces, of which the most obvious are Catalunya (its people the Catalunyans or Central Catalonians), the Valencian Country (its people the Valencians or South Catalonians), the Balearic Isles (its people the Island Catalonians or Balearians) [ — Furthermore, you shall take into your hands Majorca, Minorca, Sardinia, Corsica, with the other islands of the Ligustic and Balearian seas.(Urquhart trans. of Rabelais)], the Franja (its people the Fringe Catalonians or Franjians), Catalunya Nord (its people the North Catalonians) and Andorra (its people the Free Catalonians or Andorrans. [ — A forgery made by the Andorrans themselves to counter claims on their land by foreign powers is the chart that keeps them free (Bramble Durham. Constitutions Galore.)]

A free united Catalonia seems ready for imminent rebirth. That reunion will amaze the world. — Nostradamus, the phony prophet…

[ — … phony, no doubt, though who knows by which bizarre serendipity (xiripada, in Catalonian) sometimes he got it right, like in his depictions of the tyrant G. Bush II at the ominous start of the twenty first century. — “Il entrera viain, meschant, infame, Tyrannisant la Mesopotamie, Tous amis faict d’adulterine dame. Terre horrible noir de phisomie. L’honnissement puant abominable, Apres le faict sera felicité: Grand excusé, pour n’estre fauorable. Qu’à paix Neptune ne sera incité.” (He will enter, vain, wicked, criminous, infamous, tyrannizing Mesopotamia. All his friends sons of an enormous whore, the land brimming with sticky blackness. Stinking shame, the abominable creep still shall be congratulated. A kind of stuck crapper he leaves behind full of revenge-inspired over the seas insurgents.) “—Though every WMD or Maine is a cowardly, heartless excuse, how delicious to be able to yell down the ages: Remember the Maine, To hell anyway with Asspain!” — says a combative Emithea Ithyphallaon — later deploring the invasion of the sacred land of her forefathers — “As the fascist robbers of the United Corporations of Amerdika invaded Babylonia, thus the fascist spic and frog robbers invaded and parceled out amongst traitors Catalonia.”]


— …the big charlatan Nostradamus nonetheless prophesized the Catalonish rebellion and ultimate victory. “Ranes trembler, secours Lusitanie. Toust ceux de Ilerde seront dedans Moselle, Mettans à mort tous ceux de Loyre et Saine, Secours marin viendra pres d’haute velle…” The frogs are shaking of fear. Helped by the Portuguese the Ilerdans (those are the Lleidatans, or Catalonians of the Heartland) ascend up to the Moselle, killing all those from the Loire and the Seine, succur coming up for them from the high valleys…) [— Caesar found Afranius and Petreius strongly entrenched at Ilerda in Catalonia… His victory at Ilerda was pivotal. From Ilerda stems the birth of the Roman Empire… (trans. from Dominus Croppius. Hystoyres des Catalans de Troyes.)] “De Catalon os trouuez en Barselonne, Mys descouuers lieu terrouers et ruyne, Le grand qui tient ne tient voudra Pamplonne. Par l’abbage de Montserrat bruyne.” Old Catalonia’s bones found in Barcelona, the ancestors discovered in a place now all ruin and wasteland; again the great people who had without having will want Navarre [the Catalonians “had” Navarre, Provence, Italy, Greece and all the Mediterranean isles, and then they “lost” everything], while in Montserrat the fine rains keeps on falling…

The Catalonians (who knows how deludedly) are extremely proud of their supposedly intimate relation with the Babylonians. — Again Nostradamus: “Les Citoyens de Mesopotamie, Irez encontre amis de Tarraconne; Ieux, rits, banquets, toute gent endormie; Vicaire au Rosne, prins cité, ceux d’Ausone.” Mesopotamia’s people come again to help their Tarragona friends [Tarragona was the name the Romans gave Catalonia during their few centuries of power;] games follow, rites, banquets, until people fall asleep; the chief visiting the Rhone, Barcelona is taken and all of Osona [Osona is a nearby Catalonian region.] This seems to portend the third Babylonian coming into Catalonia. But for when…?

The Catalonians are the best seed of the Babylonians. The names of both peoples seem complementary. The Babylonians with the particle “baba” (“babu”, “abu”, “avi”) meaning father (or ancestor, or in some way creator: progenitor or progenitrix). The Catalonians with the particle “cata” meaning descended (from those ancestors.) (Of course, Bibiloni is a common family name in Catalonia.)

Every Catalonian male adds the particle “En” at the beginning of his name. Same thing the Babylonians, who lead the name of every female with “Nin,” while the Catalans make it a “Na.” (“N’” when the name begins with a vowel — N’Abu-Kudurri-Usur, conqueror of Jerusalem… “—…enfin cet ancien et hardi royaume, méprisant toujours le vulgaire engourdi, devint néanmoins tributaire de Nabucodonosor, roy de Babylone,” says Frantischeck.)

In Babylonian En is father, Na mother. Enlil and Ninlil are the couple, god and goddess, who rule the Earth (Ki.) When the Babylonian hero Gilgamesh goes with his friend (stepbrother) Enkidu to the dreadful forest in order to kill Humbaba, the sickening demon father of the humming, pulsating cedar forest — a father figure, a monster who never sleeps… And, after emasculating him (Gilgamesh axes away his erect “cedars,”) wants nonetheless to spare his life, the pleonectic Enkidu insists that “Humbaba must die!” Finally they slay Humbaba. Immediately, guilt for the death of the father takes over. Nature itself rebels. Confusion in the heads of the murderers and at the heart of the natural forces — winds, tempests, earthquakes… The god Enlil, enraged, condemns the wrongdoers to exile… They ultimately find Ki-Dilmun, Paradise on Earth; they find redemption in Ki-Dilmunia — and hence Kitilmunya — Catalunya — Catalonia…

According to the mythologies of those peoples, the creating demon (neither good nor bad), the demon mother of the whole sliced loaf of the universes is Babalon Catalon. The deigning (cata) demon (lon), the demon (lon) mother (baba), who stoops (cata) to create.

The second coming into contact came in 451. Before the battle, when according to Gibbon “…another division, or rather army (…) reposed themselves on the shady banks of the Moselle (…) Some were bathing their huge limbs in the river; others were combing their long and flaxen hair; others again were swallowing large draughts of rich and delicious wine. On a sudden they heard the sound of the Roman trumpet; they saw the enemy in their camp. Astonishment produced disorder; disorder was followed by flight and dismay; and the confused multitude of the bravest warriors was pierced by the swords and javelins of the legionaries and auxiliaries. The fugitives escaped to the third, and most considerable, camp, in the Catalonian Plains…” With perfect sense, bending to the obvious presages, the Mesopotamian Alans, or rather Olans, seemed to have veered away from the Catalonian Fields before the battle was engaged. The Baba-Olans were transformed again into the Cata-Olans. The so-called Barbarians from the In-Between Rivers of the East reinforcing their presence with the cultured locals — already colonized (before the Greeks did) by their own ancestors.

Here follow a few pointers, among millions…

— In the Winter solstice still nowadays the three Babylonian kings come to allay the blues of the Catalonian kids, who, as their peers would do three thousand years ago and more, leave some food on window sills and the floor of balconies both for the kings themselves and for their mystical horses (Damian Töpfel. Three Babylonian Kings.)

— The “jus primae noctis” (dret de cuixa, in Catalonian) appears to be a very old cultural invention in Eurasia. The first explicit evidence can be found in the Gilgamesh Epic from the old Babylonian period (about 1900 BC). (Against this practice,) at the end of the 15th century, Catalonia witnessed the only successful peasant revolt of the Middle Ages (J. Wettläufer.)

— The Chief Rabbinates were in Barcelona and Babylon. (Citing a document from the French court, always genocidal…) “—We, Louis IX, king of France by the grace of God, and lord of Navarre, Provence, Burgundy, Gascony, and Catalonia, in compliance with the wishes of our holy father the pope, hereby order the confiscation of all volumes of the Talmud and its commentaries throughout our entire kingdom, so that they may be burned at the stake” (M. Baram, The Fateful Mission.)

— The history of the chard (bleda, in Catalonian) has been traced back to the famous hanging gardens of ancient Babylonia. Chard is popular around the Mediterranean, especially in Provence and Nice and in Catalonia, including the Balearic Islands, where the leaves are often prepared with pine nuts and raisins…

— Yum.